What a mess

Here's some pictures of our mess. Every day JW cleans up, then he drills more holes and makes another mess. Last night we decided that since I had bought 12 lights and he thinks we only need 11, we'll put the other one in the downstairs bathroom - finally no one will have to take a shower in an almost dark bathroom.

Here's a picture of the room, all the ceiling down, wires in place for the new lights. So as soon as we get the speaker wire we need and get it in place, JW can start putting the ceiling back up. Will be nice to be back down in my corner office instead of on the kitchen table.

Typical Van Haren Project

Wow!! What a whirlwind the last month and a half has been. The trip to AZ was better than anticipated - really enjoyed seeing everyone and wish in retrospect that I had been able to stay longer. Then on to RI for two weeks of spoiling my favorite nietas.

Followed this by a trip for Mother's Day to Devil's Tower. That was wonderful - we went out early in the morning and were able to do a leisurely walk around the tower having the place to ourselves in the nice crisp air.

Then back to real life and due to a management shakeup at the mine, JW gets to be retired for a while. All we know is that we don't plan to move - may need to tighten our belts a little (that will be a good thing) and then we'll see what happens.

So now that JW has nothing better to do with his life, it's time to put the honey-do list up as a top priority. First on the list was finish the basement flooring. 700 sq feet of dura-ceramic tile later, that was starting to look good - especially since it had been just concrete since early-2003. However, it hasn't been quite warm enough to put down the sealer in the seams so that part remains. He also put a new toilet in the downstairs bathroom - yes, no more short avocado green toilet woo hoo.

Second on the list was the recessed lights in the ceiling - this according to JW was going to be fairly simple. We figured out how many lights we needed and purchased them. 12 in all along with a Tuscan Bronze Ring to put around them as I didn't want white or silver. At last my downstairs world was going to be well lit.

Last Wednesday morning it started raining and raining and raining. JW spent the day finishing up the trim around the walls by the floor. Thursday morning, he came down to the basement intending to cut 12 6" circles in the ceiling and get those lights up - would only take him a couple of days.

By 10:00 a.m., he decided that he was going to have to cut too many holes in the ceiling to drill through the cross beams so it would be best for the ceiling to come down. At 11:00 am, he brought in the sawz all and started cutting through the drywall. WAIT STOP - never mind that I was sitting at my desk in the corner working and was being showered by dust. I convince him that OK - first, he needs to cover up the TV, the two chairs that are in the room (we moved everything else out when we started working on the floor) and I needed to move my computer upstairs to the dining room table for his "3-day project of installing lights".

By 12:00 I am safely moved upstairs, we've eaten lunch and he is back downstairs ripping out a 15' x 30' piece of ceiling. I notice that white dust is drifting upstairs into the kitchen. I open the doors thinking that will clear the air. I get off work at 2:00 and head downstairs to help. My job is to pile the cut pieces of drywall outside (keeping them out of the rain though or we'll have a mess). Later I am allowed to use the hammer to break smaller pieces of drywall off where it is nailed to the cross-beams but being a woman, i'm definitely not allowed to touch the power tool.

5:00 PM, we have finished taking down this part of the ceiling (we decide not to do the 2nd 8' x 36' piece as it is getting late) and we want to finish the one side and get the lights up before we delve into the other side. We spend the next hour cleaning up downstairs - as JW is finishing up the last bit, I head upstairs to start warming up dinner. Upstairs is a nightmare - there is 1/8" of white fine powder on everything. I clean off the counters, grab the dust mop, give the floors a lick and a promise and decide to head to the shower.

By 7:00 we have eaten and settle down to watch a little tv before heading off to bed. As we sit in the basement with the exposed cross beams, I comment on how I like the look of wood compared to a painted drywall ceiling.

Friday morning, get up and I go to work. JW sits down for breakfast and starts looking on the internet to see what he can find to put up on the ceiling. He comes up with some pickwick paneling. We decide to go that route. I call Lowe's and they have 38 bundles of this but I need 50 so we decide we'll go in Saturday morning and check it out before we order more. JW spends most of the morning mopping downstairs and cleaning white powder upstairs. We decide that we aren't cutting any more drywall until we put up plastic sheeting to keep it from coming upstairs.

Saturday, we go into town and find what we need at Lowes. They have a generic brand that is quite a bit cheaper and will actually look more rustic so we decide to go that way. (At the cost of that 1/4" thing stuff, I can't imagine how much the thick tongue and groove knotty pine we got from Alexshuman would have cost). We also buy a light green and dark green paint for the basement so that I can get it painted.

Sunday, JW spends the morning staining some of the pickwick to put on the ceiling. Late in the afternoon, he comes down and starts putting up plastic sheeting so he can start doing something. He informs me that he isn't taking down the rest of the ceiling until he gets done with the other side. I inform him that we need to because I don't want fine white powder all over my newly installed ceiling so it is coming down first. For once, I get my way and we work till 6:30 taking down ceiling. We get about half of that side done.

Monday morning (the last day of what should have been an enjoyable 3 day weekend), we have a nice breakfast and then decide if we get downstairs, we can get that ceiling down in about 2 hours and then we can do something fun - maybe go for a drive in the rain (6 days it's been raining - almost 6" so it is going to be gorgeous when that sun comes out and things really start growing). Anyway, as we are tearing down the rest of the ceiling, I make the comment that "since the ceiling is down, we should look at a theater system and get some speakers installed" as it is something we had wanted to do for the past 7 years.

By 10:30, we have the ceiling down, cleaned up the mess, cleaned up ourselves and are heading into town to look at a surround system for the basement. We go to one place and are amazed by what they have and they say they will come out and help us determine how many speakers we need and where they should be placed. We head for home, another fairly cheap project is going to end up costing us 10 times the original price of the lights, take 3 weeks instead of 3 days and JW comments "Maybe we should....... "

Heading south

I'm heading to AZ in a couple of days to spend some time with family. I'm anxious to do that and yet, I'm also nervous. Nervous to the point where if something came up that prevented me from going, I think I wouldn’t even be sad.

I know that I spend so much time in this house alone - communicating only through the typed word that it is hard for me to get out among actual people. In my work, I have people who every day tell me "thanks", "fantastic", "you rock". In my real life, I rarely hear that so I feel totally inadequate around others - I just want to blend into the background. I'm moving further and further into the background and spend more and more time thinking about the things that I should do to help people less fortunate than myself but too afraid to actually put any of my ideas into action. I feel myself slipping back into the person I was in my early married years, the person who would cross the street if I saw someone coming down the sidewalk who might talk to me. It is getting more and more difficult to get out even to go to church – once a week, I run to the post office and go to the grocery store to pick up the needed supplies for the next week then I rush back to the safety of my home.

We've moved so far away from family that it is hard to feel close to people you only see once a year or even less frequently. And we only see them if we make the trip to see them since other than my mom and kids - no one has been to my house since the reunion in 2003. None of the family has come up here – we’ve even offered to purchase airline tickets for some of JW’s family to get them up here to go hunting with him but they won’t do it. Even JW’s nephew who recently moved a few hours north of here didn’t stop by to say hi or even e-mail us to let us know where he is. Really make a person feel unwanted

True, I have a brother who lives only a little more than 30 miles from me but I never see him unless I my Mom is here and then he feels obligated to spend time with her so I see my brother and his family by default. I've heard how miserable JW has made his life by going to work at the same place he worked – I think if JW had chosen to remain as a mechanic and not climb the management ladder there probably wouldn’t be any conflict there but who knows. There would probably be something else to drive a wedge between us – I never know exactly what causes the conflicts because despite repeated requests for information in the past, I’m never given any information. Since I don't know what I have done wrong how can I be expected to change.

I have a sister-in-law that I am afraid to try to get close to again - she has hurt me too many times in the past and I'm just not going to set myself up for further hurt. Sad but true. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen each of them in the past 2 ½ - 3 years.

I know that I've made a lot of mistakes in my life - things I can repent of but things I can't really change. I have 2 children whom I love dearly but I wanted at least 6 children – I wanted big family gatherings filled with love because that is what I grew up with. But instead we have a very small family currently scattered from one coast to the other so I really cannot even remember the last time we were all together without any extended family around.

And yes, I am having a big pity party for myself today and you are all invited.

6 weird things

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the '6 weird things about you.' People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as state these rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog. I'm not so sure what the definition of weird is so here goes:

Okay so Alexshuman tagged me - so she must think there are 6 weird things about me although offhand the only 2 I can think of are my kids ;-)

1. I see everyone has mentioned sleeping in socks or going to bed with socks on and then kicking them off - hmmm - what's up with that - I would go barefoot all the time if I could - it was 25 degrees outside this morning and I went out to take down the bird feeder that the wind was trying to blow off the tree. And once when there were several inches of snow on the ground, I went out barefoot to talk to a neighbor - about 15 minutes later her husband said, "you don't have shoes on". I cannot stand to wear shoes without socks but I would never think of wearing socks to bed at all - my toes are claustrophobic so even on the coldest nights, the feet have to be sticking out from under the covers.

2. For the most part, I cannot stand to be in my pajamas unless I am in bed. The first thing I do when I crawl out of bed in the morning is get dressed. My co-workers are always teasing me about going to work in my pajamas.

3. I have absolutely no one that I would really call a friend. I have acquaintances but I think of a friend as someone you would share your most inner thoughts with - secrets you wouldn't tell anyone but a true friend. There has never in my whole life been anyone and I definitely mean anyone that I would tell everything to.

4. I love moving. The thought of packing up all my stuff and going to a different place or home to live is exhilarating to me.

5. I thrive on crisis at work. When we have a client who upgrades software and it totally messes things up, I get very excited at the prospect of spending hours on their machine trying to figure out what happened and how to correct the problem. The more problems they have, the more exciting for me.

6. I constantly make lists - lists of things that I need to do today, lists of things to do tomorrow, lists of things that need to be done in each room, lists of food I need to buy in the future, lists of how many cans of beans, peas, corn etc are in my pantry. The more time I spend alone, the more lists I make. I'm alone here for the next 2 days so I'm currently working on 3 lists - what I need to do before I leave, what I need to do while I'm in Colorado this weekend and what needs done when I get back. Send me more paper.

Well - I don't know who to tag because I think everyone has already been tagged. I only have 12 blogs on my list of people and that includes me so think I've run out of people to choose.

Geneaology - John's Mother - finally found

Woo hoo!!! I finally found a birth certificate for John's mother. Not for the wonderful woman who raised him - (although I do have that one too) but for his birth mother. I had been looking and looking for her so I can get her temple work done - but to no avail.

A family book that J's aunt gave me showed his mother's name as Lydia Ann. I had never heard her called Lydia - only Ann. I have been to her gravesite - it's right there in the Coolidge cemetary along with all her other family members so I know she died in 1956 but couldn't get anyone to tell me when she was born. No one wants to talk about her at all. The name on her grave is Ann VH - and the date 1956 - nothing more.

One of J's 2nd cousins gave me this link:

http://genealogy.az.gov/

It is great - any birth can be recorded after 75 years and any death after 50. On this web site, I found the birth certificate for my father and all his siblings. The death certificates for 3 of my great-grandparents on the Carter side and many other relatives. It's neat to see these actual documents and so easy to save a copy of them.

But no matter how hard I looked, I hadn't been able to find J's mother. We are planning to do the temple work for his Mom in January so I felt I had to find this information so I could have his Mother's done at the same time. I was beginning to think maybe she had been born before the family moved to AZ. Finally a few days ago, while looking just for last name of VH in all of AZ, I found it - it doesn't have her first name as Lydia - nor does it have it written as Ann (which is why Alexshuman has that middle name). Instead there it is - Annie, born Nov 7, 1920.

So, it's a start but now I have lots more work to do to find the rest of the family.